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Baptisms, Pet Seers & More

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Greetings, comrades. It’s me, your El Presidente, bringing you a recap of the latest episode of my once-favorite reality show, MTV’s Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. Yes, that’s right, my patience with the show’s lack of juicy drama and reprehensible, self-defeating behavior is running out, and this week’s episode, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation Season 5 Episode 5 “Two Baptisms and a Psychic Pet” did nothing to improve my mood. Most of the episode focused on the tasteless forced drama of The Situation’s desire to have a second baptism, and his decision to choose Pauly D, not Vinny, to be his new godfather. It’s only in Angelina’s rapidly disintegrating marriage that this season of Jersey Shore finds redemption. Thank you, Angelina, for allowing your life to fall apart in episodic weekly television. It’s very appreciated. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Angelina Reacts to Pet Psychic Saying Her Dog Wants Her to Divorce Chris on the Jersey Shore: Family Vacation

When it comes to Mike’s baptism, the less than stellar storyline goes like this: Mike and Lauren’s new baby, Romeo, is to be baptized, but the church won’t unless Mike can produce his own. sacrament records, which it conveniently does. not. As a result, the only way Baby Romeo can get baptized is for Mike to do it everywhere. Comrades, I have no idea if that’s really how it works. I banned all religion in my country years ago and all the priests were executed. El Presidente is the only one to be worshiped around here!

Since a baptism requires godparents, Mike had to choose a godfather. He chose Pauly D because he has the most money and because Jersey Shore: Family Vacation doesn’t have good scripts anymore, Vinny pretended to be upset about it. Because such a thrilling story cannot be confined to a single episode, this story was left on a cliffhanger after Pauly “hired” a choir to sing at the baptism, also known as “The Blessification”. .

The best part of the episode by far was when the girls visited Angelina’s house with a pet psychic. It’s not a psychic that’s a pet – I had one once, comrades, and it’s not as fun as it sounds – but a psychic that talks to pets . Apparently Angelina’s pets hate her husband and think he is cheating on her. As the countdown (now at 22 days) draws near for Angelina to decide to divorce Chris (this is how real people actually handle divorces), it looks like this marriage is totally doomed!

And so it is Jersey Shore: Family Vacation if something exciting doesn’t happen this season, then Angelina better get a divorce or they’ll be in trouble. The roommates are all counting on you, Angelina!

Until next time, comrades: socialism or death!

Posted in: Review, streaming, TV, YouTube | Tagged: jersey shore, jersey shore: family vacation, mtv, reality tv

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